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by Zora Neale Hurston
But I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow
dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. I do not mind at all.
I do not belong to the sobbing school of Negrohood who hold that nature
somehow has given them a lowdown dirty deal and whose feelings are all
hurt about it. Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I
have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation
more or less. No, I do not weep at the world—I am too busy sharpening
my oyster knife.
Someone is always at my elbow reminding me that I am
the granddaughter of slaves. It fails to register depression with me.
Slavery is sixty years in the past. The operation was successful and the
patient is doing well, thank you. The terrible struggle that made me an
American out of a potential slave said "On the line!" The Reconstruction
said "Get set!"; and the generation before said "Go!" I am off to a flying
start and I must not halt in the stretch to look behind and weep. Slavery
is the price I paid for civilization, and the choice was not with me.
It is a bully adventure and worth all that I have paid through my ancestors
for it. No one on earth ever had a greater chance for glory. The world
to be won and nothing to be lost. It is thrilling to think—to know
that for any act of mine, I shall get twice as much praise or twice as
much blame. It is quite exciting to hold the center of the national stage,
with the spectators not knowing whether to laugh or to weep.
The position of my white neighbor is much more difficult.
No brown specter pulls up a chair beside me when I sit down to eat. No
dark ghost thrusts its leg against mine in bed. The game of keeping what
one has is never so exciting as the game of getting.
I do not always feel colored. Even now I often achieve
the unconscious Zora of Eatonville before the Hegira. I feel most colored
when I am thrown against a sharp white background.
Reprinted with the permission
of the Zora Neale Hurston Trust. |